Funky

(art by Victoria)

I’m in a funk.  I’ve been doing my best to shake it off for a while now, but it’s not working so well.

Maybe it’s the return of the cold.  Maybe it’s the gray and dreary weather.  Maybe I’m isolated and need socialization.  😉  The kids are fine, but I’m feeling out of sorts.

I have all of these “shoulds” in my mind…

  • I should clean the house so we can put the tree up.
  • I should get caught up on laundry.
  • I should be doing more projects with the kids.
  • I should do our advent socks.
  • I should cut Jack’s hair.
  • I should start making a hundred holiday cards with the kids.
  • I should have taken our holiday pictures and written our family letter.
  • I should have finished reading “A Little History of the World” by  now.
  • I should be doing more school with Jack.
  • I should be doing more math with everybody.
  • I should be reading more to both boys.
  • I should be doing more art with the kids.
  • I should be playing more with the kids.
  • I should write my aunts.
  • I should turn in report cards.
  • I should go pay the house taxes.
  • I should get the coop newsletter out.
  • I should be exercising.
  • I should be getting the kids exercising more.
  • I should be doing more preschool with Alex (the fun kind).
  • I should start taking the kids to Tai Kwan Do.
  • I should clean the van.
  • I should make a batch of bread and a batch of buns for tomorrow.
  • I should finish my book and send query letters to publishers.
  • I should catch up on email.
  • I should henna my hair.
  • I should get to sleep earlier.
  • I should start a new read-aloud with the kids.
  • I should figure out how to get Alex potty trained.
  • I should have the last two reviews for the vegan cookbooks done.
  • I should be more fun with the kids.
  • I should be blogging more.  🙂

I guess I’m a little burned out.  I’m on my fourth preschooler.  I’m into the double digits of years homeschooling.  This makes 13 years I’ve been dealing with daily migraines, and 11 years since the car accident that caused my chronic neck pain.  I cook our meals from scratch, write three columns and two blogs, homeschool four kids, try to keep a house running and deal with a lot of daily pain.

I’m tired.

But there are children waiting for me downstairs, so for now I should go be a good mom.

Tomorrow, I’ll try to fix some of those and knock down the list.   And blog properly…

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11 thoughts on “Funky

  1. Anti-spam word: chill

    🙂 What you should be doing is taking a good rest! But I feel the same way sometimes…imagine that…homeschooling just one kid and only for 4 years and already feeling that way. So you should be proud of yourself! 🙂 You are my hero. Sending you many, many warm hugs.
    .-= Suji´s last blog ..The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs FunSchooling =-.

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  2. I read your blog alot and have for many years, I think that you are extremely creative with your kids and should feel proud of all you have done. I also think it would help your “funk” to change all those “I should…” into “I want to..”. It’s helped me sometimes.

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  3. Wow, your list of “shoulds” is nearly identical to mine! I don’t know if this will make you feel better, but my car is a mess, the family room is, too; there has been a MOUNTAIN of clean laundry on our table all week (yet I seem to have no clean socks), my son refuses to get a haircut before Christmas, and our tree is still in storage in the basement. It’s 9 pm and I just remembered that our sheets are still sitting in the washing machine. Aaah, life…

    I’m constantly going over my “should” list in my head, but I’m trying to stop–it’s just too exhausting! You can’t live in “should” land because it will never end. There is always more to do, but you only get to live one moment at a time!

    Can’t blame you for feeling burned out–that’s a lot of years of taking care of others’ needs. Hope you’re feeling better and were able to knock down some of that list! If not, just relax. You deserve some down time!
    .-= Sparklee´s last blog ..Adventures in Geography =-.

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  4. It’s good to know I’m not alone. 🙂 I didn’t get a whole lot done on my list but I started on some of the ones that were weighing on me and it helped. Thanks for the pep talk!

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  5. I have the same list of shoulds! Obviously, with different names, but the shoulds are endless & keep me up at night. Homeschooling 5, another on the way, saving to move yet again… yet I feel strangely hopeful and energized since the start of the month… so I’m running with it!

    I sure hope you’re funk fades soon!
    .-= Sofia’s Ideas´s last blog ..this moment =-.

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  6. The Shoulds are evil little things, aren’t they?! I know I have plenty nipping at my heels.

    I used to have daily headaches as a teen and I remember how exhausting they were. I could only imagine dealing with those as an adult. I hope you are feeling better.

    Love the drawing, btw.
    .-= Kat´s last blog ..The Nutcracker =-.

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  7. Hey Mama, it seems to me that you’ve been running full steam ahead since last spring. It’s about time for a break, don’t ya think? December is a good excuse for chilling out for now, for random fun, for no math and no history…. 🙂
    “Should” is kind of a downer, a control freak who thrives on guilt. Yuck. Kick him out. Give “Could” a chance. 😀

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